The Duck And Doctor Drake
DUCK: Everyone whistles
DOCTOR: Everyone claps once
DOCTOR DRAKE: Everyone claps twice
Once upon a time there was a DUCK who had a bad lisp. so he said to himself, “I thimply mutht go thoon to thee a DOCTOR.” And so the DUCK went to see DOCTOR DRAKE.
“Whatth cauthing my thspeech problemth?” asked the DUCK. “Well,” answered the DOCTOR after examining the DUCK, “You have a quartasill on your sans-a-frans.” “A whatthitha on my whoothith?” questioned the DUCK. “And it must be removed immediately.” said the DOCTOR. “No this, no thirgury until I’ve theen a thusthialitht,” replied the DUCK.
And off he went to see another DOCTOR. The second DOCTOR examined the DUCK and announced, ” You have a quartasill on your sans-a-frans – but you’ll have to see a specialist. I’m only a family DOCTOR.” “The whooth the betht perthon to thee?” asked the DUCK. “Why DOCTOR DRAKE of course,” answered the second DOCTOR. “He is a specialist.”
So the DUCK went back to DOCTOR DRAKE and asked him to do the operation. “There only one thing,” said DOCTOR DRAKE. “I can remover the quartasill from your sans-a-fran and won’t lisp anymore – but it may cause you to stutter.” Oh thath OK,” said the DUCK. “I really don’t quack much!” So DOCTOR DRAKE performed the operation on the duck.
‘How do you feel now?” asked DOCTOR DRAKE. “Simply super,” said the DUCK. “The lisp is gone-gone-gone-gone and I want to thank-thank-thank-thank you DOCTOR DRAKE-DOCTOR DRAKE-DOCTOR DRAKE.”
-Southeastern Massachusetts Cluster Council Pow Wow 1997