Introducing Celestial Barbie
Celestial Barbie comes with 8.4 children. She wears a mid-calf flower print Laura Ashley dress with conservative flats (no heels), a bow in her hot-rollered hair with puffy bangs.
Barbie wears a permanent smile, knows how to bake bread, store wheat, feed a family of 12 on less than $20 a week, make casseroles and jello salads, and still find time to read her scriptures.
She comes with a MAV (Dodge/Ford/Nissan/whatever mini-van, otherwise known as a Mormon Assault Vehicle).
When you pull the cord in her back, she becomes emotional, teary and says things like, “You have such a special spirit, Sister Jones” or “Love ya.” Occasionally you can find one that says “Oh my heck!” but be warned: this is a manufacturer’s defect. Celestial Barbie would never say “heck” because it’s a swear word!
You can buy a Celestial Ken to go with Celestial Barbie. But he’s hard to find. Probably because his accessories include the mantel of bishop and so he’s rarely ever home.